Okay, this is one of those really H.O.T. topics. And that’s H-O-T as in “hot,” not the K-pop wunderkinds who are factually H.O.T. Check this fact: There’s been a lot of talk about powerful people, across the world, covertly working with each other to achieve self-serving ends at the expense of the public. Talk […]
10 things Biden said to Putin to dissuade him from invading Ukraine
WILMINGTON—Moments before Russian Federation forces invaded Ukraine on February 24, U.S. President Joe Biden made the following pleas to Vladimir Putin, president of Russia, via private telephone conference: Come on, man. You won’t get away with that on my watch. Oh, wait… is it my watch? You do that and I’ll cancel your pipeline. Or […]
Trudeau responds to protesters
Protesters in Canada have demanded an end to restrictive mandates that limit their constitutionally protected freedoms and threaten to physically violate their body sovereignty. To address their concerns, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau promised to throw the protesters in prison where their constitutionally protected freedoms will be limited and… nothing else bad will happen to […]
Zoom call attendee glad no one knows he’s just watching self the whole time
DES MOINES—An Iowa business owner spent an entire Zoom call staring at his own digital image, and he’s pleased about it. Tate Walstrom, proprietor of Tate’s Gates in Altoona, could not tear his eyes away from the mirrored video stream of his face while attending a half-hour virtual meeting for property managers. Offering limited […]
Another kind of totalitarianism
Reports have arisen of creeping authoritarian influences usurping large portions of the news media in a bid to condition their readers into accepting brutal totalitarianism. In response, this publication denies any and all such reports, choosing instead to educate its readers about the benefits of good ol’ fashioned brutal totalitarianism.
Louis Pasteur’s journal
A rare moment indeed, when one locates such a prized and sought after repository of firsthand discovery. Louis Pasteur’s journal recounts his trials in developing the famous Pasteurization process, a name he took immense pride in designating. Behold the immortalized words of a pioneering researcher, so far ahead of his time that his time finally […]
Scientists say governments shouldn’t artificially dim sun; corporations should
An international group of scientists and experts in the field of geoengineering has issued a warning to the world: sun-dimming is dangerous, so leave it to the professionals. Plans to mitigate the intensity of the Sun’s rays in order to curb global warming have been in the works for decades, causing alarm throughout the scientific […]
My enlightening conversation with Science
In this age of disinfo, it’s important to go to the source. One should never settle for a second or thirdhand account when the straight dope can be gotten from a firsthand wiz. With that in mind, when I got the rare chance to rub elbows with Science itself, you better believe I took […]
Americans stranded in Afghanistan appreciate freedom from COVID mandates
Several of the hundreds of American citizens who were left to fend for themselves in Afghanistan after the U.S. military’s disastrous withdrawal have expressed approval of their adopted country’s relatively loose COVID restrictions. Speaking to Order World News, Aazar Muzanni and Hesther Abdul confessed to having a favorable view of how Afghanistan’s ruling political class, […]
BREAKING: President breaks silence on favored ice cream
WASHINGTON—Predawn reports from the White House have confirmed suspicions regarding the President’s position on several hot-button issues, with one distinct item gaining international attention: the President picked Haagen-Dazs’s “Rocky Road” ice cream from a bipartisan selection of after-dinner treats. “This is a huge step toward finding a path forward, and forging it all by himself, […]