Tag: news

An international group of scientists and experts in the field of geoengineering has issued a warning to the world: sun-dimming is dangerous, so leave it to the professionals. Plans to mitigate the intensity of the Sun’s rays in order to curb global warming have been in the works for decades, causing alarm throughout the scientific […]

Several of the hundreds of American citizens who were left to fend for themselves in Afghanistan after the U.S. military’s disastrous withdrawal have expressed approval of their adopted country’s relatively loose COVID restrictions. Speaking to Order World News, Aazar Muzanni and Hesther Abdul confessed to having a favorable view of how Afghanistan’s ruling political class, […]

WASHINGTON—Predawn reports from the White House have confirmed suspicions regarding the President’s position on several hot-button issues, with one distinct item gaining international attention: the President picked Haagen-Dazs’s “Rocky Road” ice cream from a bipartisan selection of after-dinner treats. “This is a huge step toward finding a path forward, and forging it all by himself, […]

Tragic reports of a comedy show gone awry have surfaced from Gary, IN, where an up-and-coming improv comic suffered immediate paralysis when his scene partner failed to give him the customary “Yes, and…” reply. Troy Beckham, 20, remains hospitalized in a state of shock after his classmate and friend of seven years, Jess Vincente, responded […]

Residents of California have expressed serious concerns regarding the out-of-control looters who are not following public health codes designed to fight COVID while raiding local department stores. Scores of coordinated pilferers are running amok in urban centers throughout the Golden State, terrorizing innocent passersby with their flagrant disregard for CDC-issued guidelines.  The robberies have become […]

In the wake of the removal of a Robert E. Lee statue in the formerly slave state of Virginia, Mastercard Inc. has announced a forthcoming change to its brand name. Citing several complaints from its own ranks as well as from stakeholders as far afield as the unskilled labor sector, the multinational financial services corporation […]

Scientists are asking for America’s assistance in their efforts to rename insects whose common monikers have been determined to be “inappropriate or offensive.” The American Society of Entomologists (ASE) announced recently that the common names for the Coccinellidae family of beetles and the fly known as Cochliomyia hominivorax, respectively “ladybug” and “screwfly,” had been purged […]

Celebrated hedge fund billionaire and renowned philanthropist Arthur Blankfield is poised to be proven categorically guiltless in the matter of the alleged double homicide perpetrated on his Ferretti 920 yacht while he was sending a letter by facsimile. Though accused of murdering two Malaysian prostitutes with a Pelikan Souveran fountain pen in the master bedroom […]

An assemblage of stunted personalities has just made a call to arms for simpletons worldwide to unite and demand fair and equal treatment under the law, an increase in their representation in various organizations and industries, more favorable depictions in media and special treatment under the law. “We just want our voice to be heard,” […]

The Motion Picture Association released a report detailing its reasoning behind the rerating of some 85 classic feature films including Bambi, The Birds, 2001: A Space Odyssey and Who Framed Roger Rabbit?. As reported by Good Turn Daily, the organization reclassified a number of landmark titles from G to NN, meaning that they contain content […]