Tag: variety

Are you experiencing depression, anxiety, or the pangs of some indefinable need that, no matter what you do to counteract your pain, will not be fulfilled?  Are you searching for some deeper, greater meaning to the tribulations that the world hurls at you in a never-ending onslaught of exhausting challenges?  Do you feel lost or […]

Think of it: a device to end your reliance on electronic devices.   Can you imagine anything better?  Doubt it.   Coastlines.  Fresh air.  A mother’s love for her only child.  These things have nothing on this. Are you ready?  You may not be, because this is really big.  Just sayin’.  Prepare yourself.  Because here’s…  […]

Respect.  Because you’re a winner. Win.  Because you need to respect. Lose.  Because you can’t win them all without cheating. Cheat.  Because you want to be a winner, don’t you? Claim.  Because dependents can lower your tax obligation. Observe.  Because then you can make observations. Listen.  Because hearing doesn’t cut it.  (Deaf?  Sorry.) Breathe.  Because […]

Are you tired of those old solutions that just aren’t for you? Well, you’re in luck. Because this solution… Is for you. Introducing SolutionForYou, the solution.  For you. Those tired old products they’re calling “solutions” these days just don’t solve anything anymore. Not so with SolutionForYou, which solves lots of things for consumers.  Consumers like […]

Underground and shaking with terror?  That’s no excuse for a dreary bunker! The tangible threat of global thermonuclear war is no reason to settle for a fallout shelter that doesn’t express your personal style.  From floor to 7-foot ceiling, your shelter must shield its occupants from deadly radiation while reflecting your own unique vision of […]

In this age of disinfo, it’s important to go to the source.  One should never settle for a second or thirdhand account when the straight dope can be gotten from a firsthand wiz.   With that in mind, when I got the rare chance to rub elbows with Science itself, you better believe I took […]

And he appears! Hi, I’m the devil.  I just heard my name being called and, as you may have heard, if you speak of me, I appear.  I don’t even need to hear my name; I would have appeared even if you’d said “that handsome prince of darkness,” or “some famous fallen angel” or even […]

Nothing is easier done than said. Saying it takes two syllables. Doing it takes nothing.  Not a thing. No thing.   That is what “nothing” means: no thing. But saying “no thing” was too much, so they shortened it.

Alastair Necklebort, Randolph Squattpeter and Bentley Flitnipple sulked at their open lockers. “I do not care for my name,” Alastair muttered. “Me neither,” the others intoned. “I am going to change it.” “Great idea,” Randolph offered, “I don’t care for my name either.” “But,” said Alastair, “you just admitted that.” “No,” Randolph replied, “I was […]

On a traffic light, green is always on the bottom.  Even when it was just her and red.   And she was okay with it then, as long as red was happy, because she’s a nice color. Then yellow came along.  Like a wedge. Of all colors to come between her and red it had […]