Only Gutenbergs should play Gutenbergs

Should non-Gutenberg actors be given the opportunity to play Gutenbergs if there are Gutenberg actors willing and able to play those parts?  It’s an argument in the making, and one with serious implications for the future of casting in an industry fraught with controversy over who should play whom. That controversy recently spiked with the […]

Related murder victims?

Police in Maryland are investigating a possible link between a severed human foot discovered on a secluded road in Brandywine and a headless torso found on a dead-end street in Baltimore.  After two months of detective work, officers working the case have concluded that the victims may have been murdered.

Zombie food review: carnage at trailer park outside town

ParkStop RV Camp still has tender vittles if you don’t mind a little scrounging. by (formerly) Jim Acsadi Okay, we’ve all had this happen: you’re hangry, stressed and alone, with no time to track down a live meal.  Your feet are sore (if still attached) because you’ve been trudging for days through corpse-lined streets but […]

Easier done than said

Nothing is easier done than said. Saying it takes two syllables. Doing it takes nothing.  Not a thing. No thing.   That is what “nothing” means: no thing. But saying “no thing” was too much, so they shortened it.

Omg plz: look how we got ‘nentba’

2 April 2113 New England Journal o’ Net Lingo, 9(3) Research pioneered by Seamus P. Hoffstead, PhD in the field of abbreviations’ history has yielded stunning revelations concerning the etymologies of many digislang terms, notably this ironic gem from almost a century ago. Printed below is a recently decoded SMS exchange between Holly Harmon and […]

How do you like your vaccine?

More than 4,000 doses of the COVID-19 vaccine were wasted in Maine as they had reached a temperature too high to remain effective, while in Michigan nearly 12,000 doses were thrown out because they had gotten too cold. But in New York, the third bowl of vaccine was juuuust right.

To spite face 13th in top 20 reasons to cut off nose

Those goons at Gorer mag just did their annual round-up of reasons their readers give them for having sliced off their snouts in the past year, and the results may raise some eyebrows. [SPOILER ALERT] Spiting your face came in 13th! Here in descending order are Gorer’s “Top 20 Nasal Mutilation Justifications”: 20) Fit head […]

North Carolina: second in flight?

With revelations about Gustave Whitehead, whose aircraft reportedly flew in southern Connecticut over a year before the Wright Flyer at Kitty Hawk, North Carolina may wish to reconsider its slogan, ‘First in Flight.’ A whole new slogan.  Whole.  New. So many options…  Well, this is obvious, but… ‘Second in Flight’? Maybe not.  One down. There […]

Origin of the names Goldman, Silverman and Bronzeman

Alastair Necklebort, Randolph Squattpeter and Bentley Flitnipple sulked at their open lockers. “I do not care for my name,” Alastair muttered. “Me neither,” the others intoned. “I am going to change it.” “Great idea,” Randolph offered, “I don’t care for my name either.” “But,” said Alastair, “you just admitted that.” “No,” Randolph replied, “I was […]