Omg plz: look how we got ‘nentba’

The digital age spurred the development of its own vernacular, or whatevs.

2 April 2113

New England Journal o’ Net Lingo, 9(3)

Research pioneered by Seamus P. Hoffstead, PhD in the field of abbreviations’ history has yielded stunning revelations concerning the etymologies of many digislang terms, notably this ironic gem from almost a century ago.

Printed below is a recently decoded SMS exchange between Holly Harmon and her father, Alan, on 23 July 2018.

[SMS conversation between Alan and Holly Harmon on 23 July 2018.]

Alan Harmon, owner of a carpet cleaning and installation company that went bankrupt soon after self-washing carpets hit the market around the time self-installing carpets were invented, probably had no conception of the impact that his abbreviating would have on the future of texting.

His remarkable contribution to internet linguistics was likely lost as well on his daughter, who of course was the same Holly Harmon who served for nine years as Secretary of Education under U.S. President Matthew McConaughey.  

Anyone wondering whom to thank for this pitch-perfect retort to much of the pared down gibberish clogging up the digisphere need look no further than Alan H. Harmon (1963-2043) of Silver Spring, MD.