Tag: news briefs

A woman was arrested in Brooklyn for allegedly stealing a U.S. Postal Service truck, driving a mile and crashing into more than a dozen vehicles along the route.  After her release from custody, the woman was immediately hired as a driver for the U.S. Postal Service.

A massive clean-up effort is underway after an underwater pipe leaked 600 gallons of petroleum into San Francisco Bay.  When asked for comment on why its oil keeps ending up in natural bodies of water, a representative of the Chevron Corporation answered, “Because that’s where the pipes are.  Duh.”

Police in Maryland are investigating a possible link between a severed human foot discovered on a secluded road in Brandywine and a headless torso found on a dead-end street in Baltimore.  After two months of detective work, officers working the case have concluded that the victims may have been murdered.

More than 4,000 doses of the COVID-19 vaccine were wasted in Maine as they had reached a temperature too high to remain effective, while in Michigan nearly 12,000 doses were thrown out because they had gotten too cold. But in New York, the third bowl of vaccine was juuuust right.